The Power of Therapy: Loren’s Journey from Trauma to Healing

06.23.2026

The Power of Therapy: Loren’s Journey from Trauma to Healing

by Loren De Jesus

For much of her life, Loren didn't understand why certain emotions felt so overwhelming.

It began at fourteen, when anger and depression slowly started to surface without warning. She would act out, run away from home, skip school, and be lost in feelings she couldn't name or explain.

In the early 2000s, mental health wasn’t as widely discussed, and within Filipino culture in particular, it was often dismissed as “all in your head” or stigmatized with labels like “crazy.” This made it even more difficult for her to understand and address what she was experiencing.

One day in high school, Loren was asked by a counselor about her relationship with her parents. That was the first time Loren ever shared with anyone what was going on in her house. Her parents were brought into the discussion, but Loren chose to not talk about it further. When you’re a teenager, you think that high school defines your whole life. So with prom, graduation, and college ahead, the root cause stayed buried.

The Trauma Didn't Disappear

Time passed by and everything was fine until it wasn’t. The feelings kept showing up, slowly pulling apart the things that mattered: her time in college, her relationships, her sense of who she was. She convinced herself she didn’t need help, even as she struggled to make sense of what that would even look like and kept pushing forward.

In her 20s, Loren’s mother stepped in, sensing that something was wrong. She believed Loren needed professional help—someone outside the family who could uncover the roots of her struggles. For much of Loren’s childhood, her mother had been focused on building her career and was absent during the moments that might have revealed the truth behind her behavior.

Through therapy, Loren came to understand that the pain she had been carrying for years was connected to abuse from her father, abuse that had begun when she was in kindergarten. For most of her life, she hadn't fully understood what had happened to her. Her father is no longer in her life and Loren has accepted that reality.

Finding the Right Therapist

For a long time, therapy felt like going through the motions. She saw therapist after therapist and came close to giving up more than once. Then she found one who changed things. Someone who knew what to say, challenged her, and met her where she was at. With this therapist, something finally clicked. 'I remember one thing she told me that shifted my perspective,' Loren says. Her therapist looked at her and asked: 'If you saw this as cancer, would you treat it?'.

Loren knew the answer immediately. Of course she would. But she had never looked at her mental health that way. There were days she couldn't get out of bed, relationships she was damaging, a life she was struggling to hold together. And she had been treating it like something she just had to endure, not something that deserved real care.

Her therapist began giving her tools. When she felt a trigger building, she learned to name what was happening and give herself space, sometimes by taking a walk, sometimes by simply stepping away long enough to reset before reacting. Small things, but they began to change how she moved through difficult moments.

Not everyone who loves you will understand what you're going through. Loren's fiancé had never experienced anything like it and helping him grasp what it felt like from the inside didn't come easy. She had to learn how to communicate not just what she was going through, but what she needed: a hug, reassurance, someone being present, someone not trying to fix it but just staying close. The best advice his future mother-in-law gave was, “Sometimes the best thing you can do is listen, not react.”

A Powerful Reminder of Mental Health

Over time, something important began to settle in Loren. A shift she still comes back to.

Her therapist told her: “You are not always going to feel this way”. And Loren learned to hold onto that. When she feels it coming now, she reminds herself it isn't permanent. "You can use your toolbox to change it." That reminder has become one of the most grounding things she has.

Loren is also honest about what living with this looks like. There is a happy side of her that the world sees. And there is a heavier side, one that can show up. She has learned to hold both, to know that neither is the whole story.

Today, Loren says she feels stronger than she did twenty years ago. A large part of that comes from no longer feeling alone in it. Her mom, her fiancé, family and friends have become a real support system, one she has helped build by learning to share what she is going through and tell the people around her how to show up for her. She also volunteers at animal shelters and rescues. It brings her a sense of purpose and comfort she didn't expect.

On hard days, she comes back to the small things. Walks. Funny videos. Ice cream. Simple, "almost stupid little things" that bring her back to herself and they work.

What Loren wants others to know, especially those who are struggling, is this:

Sometimes the best thing you can do is allow yourself to fully feel whatever you're feeling. Not every emotion needs to be fixed or explained. Try not to hate yourself for feeling bad. Simply letting it exist is enough. When you notice it, when you feel it in your body, try naming it if you can: "This is my depression talking," or "This is the anxiety I feel in my chest." Naming it can help create a little space between you and the feeling.

There will be days when the future feels distant, or even impossible to imagine. In those moments, it's okay if hope feels small or unclear. The parts of you that can feel joy, set goals, and connect with others are still there. They may feel far away right now, but they haven't disappeared. And even on the hardest days, they can slowly come back into reach."