Diagnosed at 38: Living with Bipolar 1 Disorder (BP1D)

09.08.2025

Diagnosed at 38: Living with Bipolar 1 Disorder (BP1D)

by Jason Brazao

I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I had a manic episode a few years ago that led me to being diagnosed at age 38. During that time I was going through a lot-so I decided to take some time alone and drive to Alaska in my RV to clear my head. I needed to get away from the world.

My friends and family were concerned about me. I wasn’t acting like my normal self. A few of my friends got together and decided to call the authorities and have them do a welfare check on me. The police tracked me down to a pawn shop in Iowa. An officer confronted me while I was smoking a cigarette outside. He looked at me and said, “Jason, right?”

That’s when I made the worst decision of my life:

I ran. I jumped in my RV and sped away.

What was I doing? I was a law abiding citizen my whole life. I had never been arrested. I freaked out, and made a terrible, impulsive decision. And that was just the beginning…

I thought I could get away. I was convinced of it. All I had to do was not stop. They would give up chase if they thought I was a danger to myself or others. But they did not give up chase.

They finally spiked my tires so I abandoned the RV and started running on foot.

I had a 9mm in my pocket. I was never a gun person, but during my 2 month manic buildup I started feeling paranoid so I got my training and certification and purchased some firearms about a month before this incident. And since I was traveling to Alaska in my RV I had brought my firearms with me. Made sense to me at the time. But I wasn’t thinking clearly.

There was a foot of snow on the ground, and it was a sunny winter day. I’ve never ran so fast in my life. But there was an officer running right behind me. These guys were determined.

But so was I.

I managed to run to a building and when I got around the corner I pulled out my gun and started firing shots off like Yosemite Sam in attempts to buy myself time to get away. It was extremely reckless but I was not a rational person in that moment. The extreme mania had turned my life into a movie and I was merely a spectator.

The door to the building was unlocked and I ran inside screaming for help but there was no one there. I made my way to the back where I found a small room to hide. After waiting for a while, I was convinced I had finally gotten away. I was safe.

When I finally felt like the coast was clear, I put on some clothes I found to change my disguise and I opened the door to the outside where I encountered a SWAT team. They had me surrounded. I surrendered peacefully. As they cuffed me I apologized and said I was just having a bad day. Even in that moment I still didn’t realize the severity of my situation.

I spent the next 3 months locked up in Johnson County, Iowa. It was a very dark time for me. When I finally made bail, I immediately sought psychiatric help. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder the same day. I began taking Lamictal/Lamotrigine (mood stabilizer) and Abilify/Aripiprazole (antipsychotic) immediately.

I waited a year for my trial. It was the worst year of my life. Not knowing my fate left me the shell of a man, but I stayed strong and focused on managing my mental health with the medication as well as weekly therapy sessions.

Right before my trial they offered me a 5 year plea deal, so I took it. It seemed fair. I did the things I did, regardless of the reason why. I felt I should accept some responsibility. Thankfully no one was injured, including myself.

I did 8 months in a minimum security prison and got early parole. It has been over 3 years since the incident and I have not had any episodes since.

While researching BP1D I discovered ADAA. Hearing similar stories from other people with mental health issues made me not feel so alone. I wanted to share my story with ADAA to help anyone who may relate to what I went through.