Authored by: Michelle Fernando, PhD, Eileen Barden, PhD, and Johanna Thompson-Hollands, PhD

When someone you care about experiences trauma, it’s natural to feel unsure about how to help. This guide will explain what PTSD is, how to recognize the signs, and ways you can provide meaningful support, without feeling overwhelmed or responsible for "fixing" everything.

Whether you're here to understand your own experience or to support someone else, you'll learn what PTSD looks like, when to seek help, and how to be a steady, caring presence through recovery.

What Is PTSD?

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that can develop after someone goes through a deeply distressing event, such as combat, sexual violence, natural disasters, or other traumatic experiences. In the U.S., about 6% of people will experience PTSD in their lifetime, though rates are higher among groups with greater exposure to trauma, such as veterans.

Common symptoms include:

• Restless sleep or nightmares
• Avoidance of trauma reminders
• Feeling tense, “on edge,” or easily startled
• Unwanted, distressing memories
• Irritability or mood swings

For many, these symptoms improve over time. But if they persist or worsen, especially if they interfere with daily life or relationships, it may be time to talk with a mental health professional.

Recognizing PTSD in a Loved One

After a trauma, it’s normal for someone to feel shaken or changed. PTSD becomes a concern when those changes don’t fade and begin to affect everyday life. You might notice your loved one:

• Avoids certain places or activities
• Appears on guard in crowds or unfamiliar environments
• Withdraws from family and friends
• Expresses guilt, self-blame, or a belief that the world is unsafe

If you see these signs, encourage them to take a screening survey, but remember, only a mental health professional can provide an accurate diagnosis.

Encouraging Your Loved One to Seek Help

It can be difficult to talk about PTSD, even with close family and friends. Many people worry about being judged or misunderstood. What helps most is offering support without pressure.

Try gentle encouragement like:

• “I’m here for you.”
• “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
• “There’s help available when you’re ready.”

You can also take action by helping them find a therapist, offering to go with them to appointments, or suggesting they reach out to the 988 Crisis Line for immediate support.

Remember: your job is to offer support, not to serve as their therapist.

How to Support Someone in Treatment

Once your loved one begins treatment, your continued support can make a big difference.

• Ask what they need. A simple “What would help right now?” can go a long way.
• Recognize their effort. “I know attending that birthday party was tough, but I’m really proud of you.”
• Respect their privacy. Some people want to talk about therapy; others don’t. Let them take the lead.
• Encourage consistency. Help them stick with treatment by supporting appointment attendance and any between-session work.

Offer your presence, patience, and practical help—like reminders, transportation, or joining in relaxing activities.

What Not to Do When Supporting a Loved One With PTSD

Don’t accommodate avoidance.

If PTSD symptoms are disrupting shared routines or responsibilities, try not to give in to avoidance. Instead, talk openly about how it’s affecting your relationship and encourage steps toward treatment.

Don’t escalate conflict.

Anger and irritability are common PTSD symptoms. If a conversation heats up, suggest taking a break rather than arguing back.

Don’t disappear.

It’s important to maintain your own wellbeing too. Keep up with your support network, hobbies, and self-care routines. Supporting someone with PTSD doesn’t mean losing yourself in the process.

What About Couples Therapy?

PTSD treatment can include individual, group, or couples therapy. If you're both open to working together, Cognitive Behavioral Conjoint Therapy (CBCT) is one evidence-based option. Even a few joint sessions within individual therapy can help you feel more connected and informed.

Ask your loved one, and their provider, if couples or family involvement could be helpful in their healing journey.

Reflection Questions

• How might stigma about mental health keep us or others from seeking help?
• What are some ways you’ve supported a loved one facing trauma?
• When you feel distressed, what coping strategies help you feel grounded?

You are not alone in navigating PTSD, whether you’re experiencing it or supporting someone who is. With patience, empathy, and the right resources, healing is possible. Being present, listening without judgment, and encouraging treatment can be some of the most loving things you can do.

Let this guide be a gentle starting point. Compassion is powerful, and so are you.