"Everybody Dies" - A Dark Comedy About Living With Panic Disorder

Hello everyone! My name is Matthew Woods, I’m 28, and I suffer from Panic Disorder. This disease once dominated my every waking moment with excessive false alarms that sent me to the emergency rooms more times than I can remember. Something as simple as a cramp would be misconstrued by my brain as a life-ending condition, sending me into a tailspin panic attack. I have had this disease as long as I can remember but I only received the help I needed a few years ago. I thought I was crazy and that I needed to keep my feelings bottled up inside or else people would admit me into a mental hospital.

Growing up I wanted to tell stories, whether it be through film, comic books, novels, whatever. I knew I wanted to tell a good story. I went to school for filmmaking in New Jersey and then received a masters in film from the School of Visual Arts in NYC. My thesis film covered death and hitmen and what happens after you die (a real light-hearted, family film). Going into New York each day was a struggle for me. Back then (2012-13) I had panic attacks every day. The attacks would interfere with everything; they got in the way when I was filming when I was editing, or even when I was sitting doing nothing. They effectively ruined the very activity I loved and wanted to do for my entire life. After high school, I had the opportunity to attend the Savannah College of Art and Design. I chose to go to a local university because I was too afraid of doing anything. I don’t regret my choices as they have led me down a path I am grateful to be on, but if I had gotten help earlier in life, I might have gone and become a better artist. My therapist says I have to avoid “what if” speak because then my mind runs amok. The simple thought of “If I had gotten help earlier” leads to “What if I died tomorrow and never made anything of myself.”  

I finally reached out for help after a massive panic attack in Penn Station where the walls were, from what I could tell, speeding towards me on all sides. My disease was becoming my life, and I couldn’t let it go unchecked any longer. With a team of doctors, a therapist and the most supportive wife and family, I have finally reached a point in my life where I can take my experiences with this disease and turn it on its head. I started writing and drawing a webcomic called “Everybody Dies,” like a spoof on “Everybody Poops.” This webcomic is meant to take the morbid situations in which I found myself and show people who are in the same boat that it will eventually be okay; That one day you can laugh at the very thing that caused you to believe you were dying every day.

And to anyone who is suffering, reach out to ADAA. They are an amazing nonprofit that dedicates themselves to helping people like us! I hope you enjoy “Everybody Dies” and hopefully a new chapter will be out each month to make you smile.

View Matthew's webcomic here. 

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