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As parents we don’t like or want to see our children struggling. But worries, fears and anxieties are a natural part of life, and we have to understand that children go through these processes just like adults do. But as parents and caregivers, we should also be in tune with the degree, severity, frequency, and nature of our children’s fears and worries and know when a child might need some help.

Instead of beating yourself up for feeling anxious about your OCD symptoms, you can rewire your brain to help dial down self-critical thoughts and compassionately comfort the parts of yourself that are struggling.

Shame is “just” a feeling, but it can become very big and very painful. If it feels very big, it doesn’t mean there is something even worse about you, but rather that there are layers to it. We can make it smaller and more manageable by talking about it and listening to it. When you understand it and the feeling is smaller, it will be easier for you to work with it.  

Wherever you and your kid fall on the continuum of "I hope you never leave" to "I can't wait until you move out," your child's sudden absence is likely to stir up some stuff. I am a parent and a psychologist. I went to school longer than I needed to and spent the last 20-plus years working with college students. Here's what I've learned about how to handle this change.