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You could not be happier for your child/nibling/client. They’ve finally made it to grade 12 and have been wanting to leap into their future for ages. You thought now would be a quiet and calm few months as they wait to hear back, but instead it seems as though their anxiety is reaching new heights. Should you be concerned?

My question to my fellow therapists who treat women with OCD is this: “How can we teach women to whole heartedly love themselves, when a mind that creates negative, intrusive, and terrifying thoughts is such a large part of us?”  

The headlines and the CDC report are indeed alarming, but they should serve as a wakeup call to all of us. Yes, we should think seriously about why we are seeing a steep decline in the mental health of teenage girls, but we have to come together now as parents, family, friends, educators, clinicians, providers, and as a society to support, enhance and establish more preventive measures for our youth.

The ability to be ourselves with clients makes it so much easier to connect, to be real about how challenging treatment is, and enlist their help to ensure that whatever the exposure is, its something they can tolerate, trust in, and most importantly, begin to experience relief from their intrusive thoughts and the compulsions that may dominate their lives. 

Wherever you and your kid fall on the continuum of "I hope you never leave" to "I can't wait until you move out," your child's sudden absence is likely to stir up some stuff. I am a parent and a psychologist. I went to school longer than I needed to and spent the last 20-plus years working with college students. Here's what I've learned about how to handle this change.

A thought is not a message about what is going to happen. Thoughts have nothing to do with character, which is a reflection of how you lead your life and what you choose to do. Believing even some of these myths can be responsible for ordinary intrusive thoughts becoming stuck. 

Anticipatory anxiety involves worry about—and the urge to avoid—not only anxiety or panic, but also disgust, anger, shame, regret, humiliation, becoming overwhelmed, or any other unwanted emotion. We think of anticipatory anxiety as a third layer of fear.

I’m a psychologist who treats OCD and Anxiety Disorders. When my patients get to a point in treatment when they shrug their shoulders and say to me, “Yeah, I had an intrusive thought, but ‘Whatever”, I know we have hit a home run.