ADAA Mental Health Blogs for the Public

Nobody likes to be criticized but it can be particularly difficult for individuals with depression and anxiety disorders. Individuals with depression tend to be highly self-critical and frequently have an ongoing internal dialogue that is harshly judgmental of themselves. Having someone else be critical can then act like salt to the wound and trigger feelings of shame at being exposed as deficient. Individuals with anxiety, particularly social anxiety, are very fearful of being judged and being criticized can feel like being under attack in a war zone! 

Peggy, an attorney in her late 30s, establishes rituals to protect herself from aging and in her mind, becoming ugly. These rituals include 20 to 30 facial wraps a day, washing her face 40 times from morning until night, applying her cosmetics in a ritualized order, and constantly standing in front of mirrors to scrutinize the symmetry of her legs. These rituals last 8 hours a day every single day and cost over $10,000 a month to maintain.

“Do you promise you’ll pick me up later?”

“Are you sure I’m not sick?”

“Do you promise it will be OK?” 

If these questions sound familiar, your child may be engaging in excessive reassurance seeking behaviors. And unknowingly, you may be contributing to your child’s increased overall anxiety symptoms by answering those questions. 

Ever wonder why you get “butterflies” in your stomach before doing something stressful? Or why you feel like your stomach is “tied in knots” after an argument? Ever had a meeting with a toilet that went longer than expected and it wasn’t caused by anything you ate?  Stomach problems are one of the most common symptoms of stress and anxiety.

Rates of childhood depression have been rising in the last several years. Yet, information and awareness about childhood depression has not caught on at the same rate. Millions of people across the world wonder and doubt if children can get depressed. Many well-intentioned adults still believe that children ‘can’t get depressed. They are so young- what do they have to be depressed about? When we were that age, we were just happy’. Alongside misunderstanding is stigma and the idea that mental illness is a taboo subject. 

What we now know: 

It was not until my son returned from his freshman year at Emory University did he reveal what happened on our flight to Atlanta.  Now back home in Los Angeles, sharing college stories with his best friend Emily, Jason disclosed to us that he was so anxious about going to Emory he threw-up in the bathroom of the plane. Emily, who spent her first year at Tulane in New Orleans, candidly offered her opinion as only a best friend can do, “You’re such a barfer. Barfing is your go-to when you’re anxious.” I asked Emily, what was her go-to? “Oh I’m a crier.