by Patricia Thornton, PhD
anxiety won't kill you

Whether my patients have OCD, social anxiety, a phobia, panic, or are just generally anxious about life, they come into treatment wanting to be free of the uncomfortable feelings associated with anxiety. To rid themselves of their anxiety they have tried meditation, relaxation, yoga, different psychotherapies and medication, but overall they don’t feel a whole lot better. They ask me, “Why am I so anxious?” and “How do I get rid of this anxiety?” And I respond: “You need to allow yourself to be anxious and you don’t need to know why you are anxious.” I know it sounds counterintuitive. But when you actually move toward your anxiety and just allow yourself to experience it, without trying to flee the situation or reason your way out of it, those yucky anxiety feelings and bodily sensations tend to dissipate. Anxiety never stays at one level. It oscillates up and down, often influenced by what you’re thinking about. If you accept that you’re anxious, you are no longer fighting it. When you fight the feeling, you are saying to yourself, “This is awful! I can’t cope!”, “Something bad is going to happen”. And then what happens? You get more anxious. You may attempt to manage anxiety by avoiding situations that you believe could cause you to be anxious. Or you may attempt to manage anxious thoughts by ruminating or doing things to make sure you are safe. These strategies only work in the short term, if at all. Your anxiety comes roaring back, often worse than before. If you can stay in the anxiety causing situation or stay with the disturbing thoughts long enough and say to yourself: “It’s OK that I’m anxious,” the anxiety is likely to dissipate on it’s own. You don’t need to do anything about the anxiety! And if you can take it a step further and challenge yourself to want to feel more anxious, then you are taking bold steps to conquer your anxiety. I know that asking to feel more anxious is hard to do in practice because every part of you is saying you need to get rid of the anxiety. We are wired to respond to danger by gearing up our sympathetic nervous system so that we can get out of harm’s way. Sure, if there is a rhino charging at you, your brain tells your body that there is imminent danger and your anxiety will help move you away from the rhino’s path. Unfortunately, our brain creates noise (false thoughts) that we misinterpret as dangerous and then our fight/flight system gears up, even though there is no actual danger. When you can embrace anxiety and stay with situations and thoughts that make you anxious, you are retraining your brain to be less reactive to those false thoughts. This is not the easiest thing to do, but if you haven’t tried accepting your anxiety and actually asking yourself to be more anxious, try it. You are likely to discover that moving toward your anxiety, instead of away from it, will ultimately leave you feeling less anxious.

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About the Author:

patricia_thornton_picture_1.pngPatricia Thornton, PhD specializes in the treatment of anxiety disorders and OCD. She practices in New York City.


January 25, 2019

I have terrible anxiety and depression. My arms and legs will go numb or ache and feel really heavy. I’ll get migraines. Vomiting. Dizziness. Everything hurts and tingles. My eyes have these terrible dark circles around them and I am at my wits end. I’m constantly crying. I just don’t know what to do.

Mines weird. I feel like I’m going nuts and can’t focus on anything. It just never stops. I feel like I might have a stroke or something. I overthink things like how do I see or talk and worry about forgetting how to do those things. It’s torture

Ty, my anxiety is very similar to yours so it's comforting reading your comment. Another thing with my anxiety is feeling hyper aware that i'm alive and thinking too deeply about life and just how weird everything really is. It's torture for me, also. I'm sorry you're feeling this way and I hope we both figure something out to overcome it

Hello everyone , reading everyone’s comments about anxiety. I myself have struggled with this since I had my first baby almost 7 years ago . I recently had another baby and my anxiety and depression came back And it’s been the worst it has ever been . Just know everything will be okay it’s just temporary feelings :/

i been feeling what i believe is severe anxiety everyday, i wake up and feel like someone should standing on my chest i could barely breathe...i just want to know how to feel better. sometimes it’s all day. i work and sometimes feel like there’s something wrong with my health. why am i feeling this there something i’m doing that’s triggering it...please help..

Amazing advice. This exactly help remediate my obsessing OCD and nonstop anxiety. So glad I stumbled upon this article. Thank you so much! I feel so excited for the future now!

My anxiety is bad bad and I feel it getting worse cause now when I have to talk while I'm anxious I feel like I dont have enough oxe

Just an Ordina…

February 21, 2019

I can relate to all the things and uncomfortable feelings everyone here has gone through when catching a anxiety/panic attack. I have been dealing with anxiety and having panic attacks since I was 15 years old; been through alot in life.

I am now 30, married to my high school sweetheart and have 2 children(11 & 8 years old).

I have felt it all and have went through every stage of anxiety you can think of. From waking up feeling like I’m suffocating, having chest pains, migraines, jaw pain, back aches, arm pain, lump in throat, standing under my ac vent to take air in but still feeling like I can’t take a deep breath and no air was going in. Tense muscles and heart racing super fast. Getting dizzy and feel like I am going to faint . Getting no sleep, feeling fatigued and/or sick all the time. Wanting to cry as a form of releasing all the anxiety that overcomes my body. Overthinking my symptoms and getting on the internet to search for them which it just makes it worst because you start reading a whole bunch of things that start freaking you out even more. I have felt numbness in different parts of my body. I have felt fear of my breathing patterns and not being able to manage it and dying. I started to be scared of even eating because I would always think of choking and since I thought of it, my anxiety would set in and I would feel like something was stuck in my throat and go into a panic. Many times, I have felt like I was having a heart attack. I also have had several nervous breakdowns that have taken me to the ER because my entire body would go into a major shock of nerves causing my body to curl up and shake. In those moments I would get a wave of possibly all the symptoms combined and feeling a tingling sensation all over my body as if I was going to shut down for good and pass out or even die. Let me not even start on how my anxiety would get when I got sick...all the uncomfortable feelings 3x worst.

I have tried counseling and seeing a physiologist but during that time, I was young and naive and didn’t want to talk about my problems to anyone so I gave up and would just bottle everything in and keep it moving. During the years, I tried herbalists, acupuncture, yoga, meditation, working out, giving up caffeine and liquor, changing my eating habits and getting massages to relax. I have also practiced every “calming down” technique you can think of to do during panic attacks but I would never be able to calm myself down and over and over again I would start to freak out and get worst.. Everything I did, only worked temporarily.

I have carried anxiety and panic on my shoulder every second of each day for years. It caused for me to fall into depression. I would stress all the time. Everyday. My stress got so bad it caused me to get an Ulcer. It really took a toll on my body.

After so many years of this, last year I told myself enough is enough! I’m sick and tired of stressing and overthinking and my anxiety disorder taking over my life! That was the day I made an appointment with my doctor and spilled out everything I have been feeling all these years. Told him all of my crazy fears. I told him everything I have done to try and cure myself but now I knew I needed extra help. I told him I understood the difference between normal anxiety and this abnormal anxiety that overstayed its welcome in my mind (forced on me welcome) and I was ready to kick it out. I told him I was sick of the intensity and frequency of this abnormal anxiety. It was getting worst and worst each time. It interfered with my functioning and overall well-being. I wanted to feel happy and go a week without a panic attack.

My doctor who is an angel, turned to me and said : “I will prescribe you a medicine that will assist. “ Look at it as if the medicine is a soldier who is going to battle along side you so you can regain control of your mind and body”. He asked me: “Are YOU ready?? I’m asking because no doctor, medicine or anybody or anything will help you like you can help yourself”. “Only YOU will be able to tame that beast of anxiety inside your mind”. You are going to have to face it once and for all and show it you are the boss of your life!” “Don’t fear your anxiety and charge at it with all your might baby girl!” You are still young and have a whole beautiful life to live!” So that day I took charge and started the medicine.

For the past year, I have been taking Bupropion XL 150mg every morning. I was really against taking medication but I knew I needed help. A push to get rid of my overwhelming and tiring anxiety disorder. I gave up caffeine and liquor and started to work out. I felt good and happy and for once I wasn’t overthinking or stressing little things anymore; I was regaining control of my life and living! Until today’s date, I have only caught 2 panic attacks and it was days after I received some bad news about a family member. During those 2 panic attacks, I stayed strong and even though I felt like I couldn’t breathe and my chest was tight and my body was going into “fight or flight” mode, I fact checked my thoughts and told myself I’ve been through this before and I know exactly why I am feeling this way right now so I got up from bed and instead of going into a panic or scaring myself into a nervous breakdown, I kept cool and walked to my kitchen to get a glass of water. I took 3 gulps then took a deep breathe. And again, 3 gulps and took a deep breathe (trust me I felt like I wasn’t taking in a deep breathe but I kept going) while reminding myself that I was ok and that I knew exactly why I felt the way I did but that everything will be fine and there is nothing to worry about. I started to think about all the good things happening in my life and about plans for the weekend...I grabbed my cellphone and got back into bed keeping my cool. I was opening up a game app on my cellphone to keep my mind distracted from the anxiety feelings I was having when I noticed, they were gone!! Something that used to last up to sometimes 20 mins , just lasted less then 4 minutes! That is when I started to notice, I was taking back control of my mind and my body. What a great feeling it is. Priceless to people like us that know exactly what it is to have abnormal anxiety and all the scary feelings that come with it.

It took me a while but I figured out that anxiety is a future-oriented state of mind. So instead of worrying about what’s going to happen, just keep yourself in the present time and remember that those anxiety panics and uncomfortable feelings only last minutes.

Anxiety is something normal to feel in life When scared or worried or stressed but if allowed, that same anxiety can take an ugly turn and weaken your mind littlle by little becoming overpowering and frightening you to overthink and believe the worst things that can go wrong in all aspects of your life. If it starts to impair your functioning and interferes with your well-being causing you significant distress, then that is abnormal anxiety.

In the moment of your next anxiety attack, distract your mind. You can even think about your last one and try to ease your mind in thinking nothing bad happened then and nothing bad is going to happen now. Do not fixate on worst-case scenarios of what could happen or what is happening to you because NOTHING is happening. It’s all mental and your mind is making you go into a panic making you think about all those scary symptoms but remember you are absolutely fine and will be fine in a few minutes. It is up to you on how long it is going to last. Take control of it right now.

I do hope my message helps. Many blessings to you all.

Allow yourself to fall into that which you fear the most. Of course, what we fear the most is the anxiety and panic itself. Please trust this advice and the fact that nothing bad will happen to you when you let go. The anxiety will actually get a lot more bearable because you are changing the way you react to it. Whatever you resist, persists.

What helped me to get out of the habit of resistance was to tell myself that I should be feeling this way. Telling ourselves we shouldn't be feeling anxious just sends a message to our emotional part of the brain that what we're experiencing is clearly dangerous and so more fear will be activated. Remind yourself that anxiety and panic attacks cannot harm you and practice allowing it to be without wishing it away. See what happens :)

I’m going the same thing as you I’ve tried to explain it to my family dr and they look at me like you feel a Sensation in my back neck head . I’m always feeling like I’m sick and I have some kind of sickness but everything you described I gave . I need help ? Are you still taking medication I don’t wNt to drink that all my life but I need help

Maybe this works for certain levels of anxiety, but it’s far from feasible for someone with severe, chronic anxiety that keeps one from functioning at all on a daily scale. It’s not all anxiety about anxiety.

As per mentioned from above, I feel like I suffer the ocd since I always come across with negative thoughts in my mind and cause obssessive and compulsive so that I may feel better for little while. What can I do towards this? Please advise.

I too fretted over the littlest things seems like, like not giving both of my kids a piece of gum of mine, even though I know one has their own. So I state it out loud...

Hi. For some time now I have been having night swears, palpitations, breathing difficulties at night so lack of sleep. My job is extremely stressful and I cannot switch off. Everything is mounting up so I took a week off to de-stress and things got worst. Everything is playing on my mind, work, chores, health and back to work tomorrow so dreading the endless emails and pressures. I cannot see a way through and so so tired but unable to cope.

I know exactly what you're going through and if it weren't for my anxiety medicine that I've been on since 2008, I would probably be worse now. If you haven't had a panic attack yet, then you're going to if you don't get some medicine and cut out any unnecessary stress in your life. I would look into a less demanding job. When you have to run errands, get as many as you can done in one day so you can have more relaxing time. I over think things and worry about what if's...very, very bad thing to do. If you have kids that demand alot from you, don't sweat the small stuff and choice your battles and never let work, family or others make you feel like you're not doing a good are only one person and every single person has a breaking point, don't let yourself get to that point! I moved out to the country for the quiet and solitude from the world. I prefer to live my life as simple as I can because it's less stress and I don't care what people think of me's my life not theirs. I hope this helps. Holler at me anytime!

What helps me is knowing I'm not alone. I'm never alone, and I can reach out to my fellows, (people like you), knowing I'm not alone in this battle and everything is going to be alright.

Hi, about 3 to 4 weeks ago I had my first panic attack in about five years, over the last 30 years I’ve had about three episodes of severe panic and anxiety that last anywhere from a couple of months to a couple of weeks. During the times when I’m not having panic and anxiety I can’t even remember what this feels like and then when I’m in the midst of it like now I can’t remember what it feels like to feel normal. My panic attacks are hi, about 3 to 4 weeks ago I had my first panic attack in about five years, over the last 30 years I’ve had about three episodes of severe panic and anxiety that last anywhere from a couple of months to a couple of weeks. During the times when I’m not having panic and anxiety I can’t even remember what this feels like and then when I’m in the midst of it like now I can’t remember what it feels like to feel normal. My panic attacks symptoms are not so much physical as mental, I don’t feel like I’m having a heart attack and I’ve never been to the ER because that’s too terrifying for me. I have the crazy mental feel like I’m going crazy but can explain why symptoms. The only way I can get the panic attack to stop if they’re taking Clonopin and then for the next several days weeks I’m in constant fear of it happening again and sometimes it does happen again. I’m working with my doctor to try to find the right dose of medications, but I absolutely hate taking them and feel so weak and scared to take them based on reading too many horror stories on the Internet. My biggest issue is when I’m in the midst of these I cannot get distracted, I constantly think and worry about the feelings of anxiety and feelings of fear never going away. It seems so abstract and random and I don’t understand why I can’t just rationalize through it, I feel like I’ll never experience joy or happiness because I can’t get distracted from worrying about panic and anxiety. I know everyone says anxiety and panic can’t kill you, but the emotional pain can be overwhelming. Can anyone relate to these feelings? I feel like an oddball because my symptoms don’t mimic a heart attack etc. I do get hot flashes and stomach upset but I never think about having a heart attack, I just think about all the obsessive thoughts in my head and not being able to get rid of them. Again I have gone years and years without any symptoms and I keep trying to remember that but when I’m in the midst of this it doesn’t help or reassure me. Can anyone relate?

I just began the same symptoms you are explaining. Ive had two bad episodes with anxiety the first round I had the chest symptoms this time i feel exactly how you do. It has been a couple days now and reading your battles gave me some comfort knowing I’m not the only one fighting this. Hopefully you are better now.

I feel the same. I’ve never really talked to anyone about it before. I’m a teacher and normally distract myself with work. I’m obsessive. Think about it all the time but I like it because it stops me having other worries.
Since I was younger I have irrationally worried about my own health and the health of loved ones. Normally I keep myself busy in half term seeing people because I almost fear being alone. This half term I spent a lot of time alone and started with shortness of breath. I googled and convinced myself I was dying. This led to back pain- sometimes chest pain, shoulder tightness, arm pain, loss of appetite, diahoerra (when I ate enough). When’s distracted enough the symptoms ease but other times I’m crippled - it can feel like flu. My boyfriend tells me I’m fine and it’s in my head but it’s so so stressful

I have heard of just trying to face up to anxiety in order for it to disappear before, and this is the tactic I usually use. I'm struggling whilst on holiday, my anxiety causes me to have no appetite. My body just won't let me eat anything. Help.

This is great advice Patricia. My anxiety is pretty high, especially when I wake in the mornings and begin to think negatively. My advice is to read about detached mindfulness.

37 yr old male here. I've always had spcial anxiety, especially when public speaking, but was always able to deal with it when the time came for an interview or presentation . Now anxiety about work the past 3 or so years has been almost unbearable. If i have am important presentation or speech to give, it's literally always on my mind, even weeks or months before having to give it. And a few times I've barely been able to talk and get extremely bad shaking, and the fear of that happening again is really.messing with me. I've been able to play it off and hide it for the most part, but I feel like I'm going crazy and I don't know why I'm letting this do this to me...keep telling myself I'm being crazy, and that I'm scared of being scared which is stupid, but I can't stop and I feel like it's bringing down my whole life. For my next presentation I'm going to pop a 0.5 mg Xanax, hopefully that will prevent me from being a complete mess. Anyone ever feel like this for a prolonged period and found something that makes it better?

I have been dealing with anxiety attacks since 2009 and depression all my life but didn't know I had a depression problem. I'm sick all the time including now. I've learned to control my anxiety a little. I've been on antianxiety and antidepressants since 2009. I'm getting worse instead of better and am now heading toward ECT treatment because my mind and body feel like they've been hijacked. My quality of life is not good. I've been a single parent for 21 years and one of my 2 kids is special needs....I don't know what I did wrong to be going through this. Help me please!

Guillermo Vallarta

March 14, 2019

I’ve been battling this for 2 months now. It’s only gotten worse and worse. I’ve always been the “big brother” or the “go to” guy but feel so alone now that I need a shoulder. But reading some of these comments have given me hope and a small sense of strength. Knowing that the headaches, chest pain, body pain, bad thoughts and countless ER visits are actually of the norm. I battle this all day to the point where I’m literally incapable of being able to work and support my family. It’s destroying my life and my body. Anyone who would like to talk about this PLEASE reach out to me! Thanks everyone!

I was diagnosed with chronic depression and anxiety 3 years ago. I was hospitalized recently for IBS, and since returning home from hospital, I've been experiencing insane anxiety attacks. I have always been anxious, although never experienced an attack until recently. I've been having attacks daily for the past 3 days that last for hours. At first i thought i was dying and rushed to the ER. I haven't slept in a week due to the hospital and now anxiety attacks. They wake me up when i do eventually fall asleep and i literally am afraid to sleep because of this. I am on antidepressants and a mood stabilizer but only restarted them recently so they aren't kicking in yet. I understand that anxiety won't kill me and it will always pass, but it's so exhausting and frustrating that i feel so broken. I want to admit myself to hospital just so they can drug me up to stop this from happening but my recent hospitalization depleted our medical aid. I just want it to stop, because when I'm not having attacks, I'm having crippling anxiety and can't even keep my legs still; they feel so weak and numb. I just want this episode to pass and want to so badly get back to my old self and get a night's rest..

Same here is why I found this site. I’ve been dealing with this about 3 years now off and on. And every time the symptoms are different. This time the world kept rocking while I walked it has eased up. Headache like my head is clenching and releasing. Now my left big toe keep twitching and won’t stop. It’s been driving me a little nuts but I’m trying to ignore it. I’ve gone to every doctor known.I did mri balance test, ear test, blood sugar. Ended up in the ER twice because I thought I was going to die. All test negative of any ailments. Now I see a psychologist twice a week just to talk and it’s helping. I wrote this because I hope someone would be encouraged. I fine when you know you are not alone it somehow is comforting. Especially when you read you’re not the only one having these weird scary symptoms.
I’ve been reading and laughing not that I’m being mean but I’m thinking hey I’m not the only crazy person here. Believe me I’m not laughing at you I’m laughing with you. Somedays can be really scary. But I’m learning how to cope. How to get past focusing on the symptoms which is the real enemy here.
Going to church and believing in healing has helped me the most. I’ve had quite a bit of Pastors pray for me and I prayed to God. This I believe has helped me make the greatest progress. I’m still battling but I’m much better than I felt a couple months ago.
I think it’s so important for us to believe that we can be healed of this and live healthy free lives. We need to be encouraged and comforted which being among loved ones helps. When I feel afraid I go to my sister’ house and spend a couple days there.
Fight back don’t be afraid to believe you will get better even when the voices are loud and threaten lying to us about death.
Try Jesus I promise you it helps to believe there’s a higher power greater than you in your corner. And don’t be afraid during those scary times to ask that your life be spared no matter how stupid it may sound.
I hope this will help someone feel comforted and have hope. Be hopeful everything will be all right. God loves you and you will make it through this. You will not die but live to declare the glory of God. Love you guys????? We will make it?

Letting the anxiety move through you is surrendering. Don't fight it and always remember to be awesome

How do you do that? Is there a mantra you say to yourself, meditation or music? My natural instinct is to fight it

Hello Monday was my first time every in my life dealing with anxiety im miserable and depressed and think something is gonna hapoenend if anyone one talk email is

Hello to everyone who is suffering from anxiety like me. I’ve been suffering from it since 2 years ago, and its hard to deal with it sometimes i thought its gone then it will comeback worse, sometimes it happen on consecutive days.. I dunno how to deal with it since im living in a rural place with people who isnt aware of anxiety and couldnt understand the situation. :( Can someone please help get through this?? I stop taking meds cause im afraid of the side effects and i might get dependent on it. :( please contact me

Hey guys, I was diagnosed with anxiety /depression 10-11years ago. I had been on Zoloft the whole time until December. With the help of my doctor I got off of it. I had to as it wasn’t doing anything but making things worse. I was then put of Prozac which made me sick, so that lasted 6 days. Im currently not on anything, but I suffer everyday. My heart pounds out of my chest, I think I’m dying, and I just want to stay away from everyone. I haven’t worked since December. I can’t get into a car, or go anywhere. Does it get better? I try so hard, but when it’s time to do anything, I find away to get myself out of it. I have a 9 year old and all I want to do is be there for him. I have a wife, that I want to be there emotionally and physically for, but I rather be by myself, so the burden isn’t there. It’s almost a feeling like I’m here/there, but not really there. The pain and sadness, has to stop and I pray everyday it gets better. I also get these pains in my head, body shakes, crying episodes, and weakness. I know it’s just my anxiety, buts it’s almost a 12 hour deal, each day. I’ve been to therapy many times, but had to stop cause I can’t get in the car. Can anybody relate? Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks everyone.

I understand all. I had a TIA ( mini stroke ) in 2006. Have had anxiety ever since then. Chest feels like it is crushing in. Breathing problems. Numerous ER visits. I’m on Wellbutrin 300 but not helping much. Now I have stomach pain rite in middle of stomach followed nausea. Really isn’t fun. I’m try hipnosis now. Fingers crossed
Any questions or need to talk

How do You deal with the anxiety of not being anxious enough ? I've been on zoloft for 7 months and it was really starting to mellow me out. But recently I started having panic attacks about not being anxious enough and it makes it harder to talk to people because I'm worried they will notice my lack of anxsighty and how they respond to me. I don't have any social anxsigy and that fact one is giving me ansighty I feel like I should feel a little at least and I don't feel any is that normal to feel that way ?

I have been struggling with anxiety since my mother passed in July, in January it hit a peak and hasn't stopped since. I have had every test known to man for my heart.....all fine. I have tried multiple SSRIs/ SNRIs and cannot tolerate the side effects. I am in therapy which helps when I am there. How do you just let the anxiety come without fighting it? Do you have a mantra? I don't know how to not fight it..... any suggestions would be great.

When I am feeling scared/on edge for no can come out of nowhere....I remind myself, "I know exactly what this is." It DOES help to just let it wash over you. Accept the fear....let is be what it is, and remind yourself, "I know I am not really dying. I have felt this before. I know I am safe, it just feels really bad. I know it will pass, it always does." I also remind myself of ALL the doctor visits, trips to the ER, calls to 911....and I was ALWAYS just fine. Always normals tests. Always super healthy. I remind myself that my brain is just broken, and I will not die from it, and it will pass. YES, IT SUUUUCKS!!!!!! It is awful, but remember there are so many of us suffering from the same thing. You are not alone. It can feel so isolating and hopeless....but you will make it through, as you always have. And PLEASE be careful about taking meds...they can absolutely make things worse. Latrogenic illness is a real thing...Google it. I ended up almost getting hospitalized from a horrific side effect to my meds, called Akathisia. I wanted to be dead, just to make it stop. Thank goodness I found out it wasn't ME, but a terrifying side effect. More people need to know about Latrogenesis and Akathisia. You think doctors are there to help you but you can end up in a much worse situation due to the "care" you receive.

My anxiety gets so bad that I feel like I can’t breathe or like I’m breathing under water. I wake up with my heart racing even before I have the chance to think anything. My anxiety makes me so depressed I just stay in bed.

I had my first panic attack in December, since then I have panic attacks weakly, anxiety daily. I’m dying inside yet on the outside I pretend everything is ok.

Things I have done:
***Weekly ER visits-they check me to make sure I’m not having a heart attack or stroke(haven’t had one or I wouldn’t be here to write this)
***Daily Clinic visits-get medications that I take once and start to panic right away so I stop taking medication. The clinic is my safe place, so during the day sometimes when I can’t control the anxiety it’s nice to just sit there knowing a doctor is there.
***call 911 monthly-when I have a panic attack and can’t control it this usually helps since the paramedics help calm me down, check my heart rate, and my oxygen levels (they are always perfect)

But this is no way to live, I watch other people, wether at the grocery store, walking down the street, and I start crying because I want to be normal like them, like how I use to be. I would do anything to have their brains, or be in their bodies.

I go to work everyday because I don’t have a choice, I fake it at work. I’m always two steps back from the morning meeting incase I need to run. I take my pen cap and push it in my fingers to tell myself I’m still alive and to distract my mind from the anxiety.

Today I said f$@& it, I’m going to take some medication because I can’t live like this. And here I am the same thing, the anxiety is mad, with a pill in my stomach going through my body into my brain and the anxiety is so angry. Now I am in google looking for answers once again. Today I’m fed up and I want to live again. I’m going to take this article for what it’s worth and become friends with my anxiety. I’m not going to beat her or hurt her, because she is part of me and has been for a bit now. I will read this article daily to remind me.
So thank you

PS one of the clinic doctors told me to download a meditation app, I tried it out last night, and it put me to sleep. May not work every time but it did help a lot. I was actually surprised, maybe if your feeling anxious it would be worth a try.

I highly recommend "Insight Timer." There are so many guided meditations and courses to choose from. When I am alone with my thoughts, feeling scared for no reason and feeling antsy/ helps to lay on my carpet and just click on the Insight Timer app....suddenly it's like there is someone with you, helping you through it. If you feel alone, and need a soothing voice to guide you along and get you through a scary, difficult moment....please get Insight Timer!!