It is time to stop dreading anxiety.

Few things motivate escape and avoidance more than the feeling of anxiety, the sense of apprehension and worry that a catastrophic outcome may lie ahead. Sometimes we can name it: tomorrow is the big test, the first date, an upcoming check-up. Other times, we are unsure of the source of our unease.

What we know is that we want the feeling to go away, and we will do almost anything to get rid of it: avoid studying for the test, cancel the date, skip the appointment. This desire to escape or avoid anxiety is very natural. After all, anxiety is meant to function as an alarm or warning signal to let us know that dangers lurk ahead so we can protect ourselves. It is a tremendously adaptive system, and the associated bodily responses do a fantastic job at helping us manage objective dangers. If a bear is chasing us in the woods, then an acute fear response with a racing heart and shortness of breath that prepares the body to flee, fight, or freeze is exactly what we want to help escape the danger.

The problem is that many people come to fear the anxiety response itself. When we routinely have “false alarms,” situations that are not objectively dangerous but make us feel anxious come to be feared and avoided. When we become intolerant of uncertainty and risk, and come to fear the experience of anxiety itself, our world becomes smaller. It is true we do not know for sure how the test, the date, or the check-up will turn out, but rarely is our life better by avoiding or not preparing for these events.

As a clinical psychologist, I teach my clients that anxiety is uncomfortable but not dangerous. In fact, moderate levels of anxious arousal can improve our performance when we think about the arousal in a healthy way. It is hard to give a good, lively speech when we feel absolutely no arousal. Even high levels of anxiety are not themselves imminently harmful; a panic attack does not cause a heart attack. Rather, it is the sustained experience of anxiety and stress over time that can contribute to coronary heart disease and other negative health outcomes. One of the significant risk factors for developing chronic anxiety is fearing the experience of anxiety, termed anxiety sensitivity, and repeatedly avoiding situations that trigger those feelings.

In contrast, when we come to see anxiety as signaling a challenge instead of a threat, our world gets bigger. We try new things, we surprise ourselves with what we can do, and we learn that failing is not actually the end of the world.

Of course, when an objective danger is present, it makes sense to escape that situation. But usually there is no bear chasing us in the woods, we just feel that way. It makes sense to minimize risks in ways that do not interfere with living a full life. For example, I always wear my seatbelt to reduce the risks associated with driving. But what does not make sense is to avoid driving altogether because I might have a car accident one day. There are so many places to see and go.

Too many people are letting anxiety make decisions for them. Approximately 1 in 4 Americans will have an anxiety disorder in their lifetime, and many more experience clinically significant anxiety symptoms that lead them to turn down opportunities and undermine their own potential. Even for those who do not struggle with clinical levels of anxiety, the messages about fear and anxiety in our society are not healthy ones. We are often told that the world is a dangerous place and that we are fragile and cannot handle feelings of anxiety. But the truth is that managing life’s challenges requires our strength and resilience as individuals and as communities. This is not the time to overestimate threat and underestimate ourselves.

We need to change this narrative and embrace anxiety as the signal that a challenge lies ahead. We can shift the thinking pattern that screams in our heads that the situation is a threat we cannot manage, to a quieter voice that empowers us to handle a challenge and recognize that we can get back up even when something does not go well. It is time to develop a new mantra: Anxiety is uncomfortable but not dangerous. Anxiety can be tolerated, so we do not need to escape or avoid situations that make us anxious when no objective danger is present.

We can shift these patterns through cognitive behavior therapy or other evidence-based approaches to treat anxiety. For those who want to try shifting their anxious thinking on their own, consider one of the online approaches. For instance, our lab is testing free, new web-based programs to train less anxious thinking: https://mindtrails.virginia.edu/.

Ironically, when we stop dreading anxiety, it is amazing how much calmer we feel!