Art Heals: Combating Anxiety and Depression through Creative Outlets
From an early age, I struggled with unrealistic fears, worry, and sadness. As the first-born child, I was the apple of my parents’ and grandparents’ eye and placed on a pedestal which I feel resulted in a deep desire to always be perfect and make everyone happy. Oftentimes, I felt like I had no control. I vividly remember, at the age of 12, hearing about the death of pop star, Karen Carpenter, on the news and how her death was caused by an eating disorder. Until that day, I had never heard of an eating disorder. Sadly, my immediate thought was how it must have felt to her to have that amount of control and power over her body. That feeling stuck, and at the age of 16, I was admitted as an inpatient for two months for an eating disorder, depression, and anxiety.
As an adult and after becoming a mother, the eating disorder improved although I still really struggled with body dysmorphia, anxiety, and depression. With medication and many years of therapy, I have always been able to maintain a stable life, but the symptoms would still at times get out of hand. Like many, 2020 was a downward spiral. I lost my job, a dear friend committed suicide, EMPTY NEST hit me like a ton of bricks, and my weight got out of control! I felt like I no longer had a purpose and really did not know who “I” was.
In 2023, I made up my mind to start challenging myself. I decided it was time to invest in myself and try to re-define who “I” was. I have always loved music, so my daughter encouraged me to audition for a community production of Freaky Friday: The Musical. I was cast as Katherine Blake, THE MOTHER! Not only did the musical give me an opportunity to mentor young people, but I also noticed that despite my fear and anxiety, I felt better emotionally. Since that time, I have been in two other productions and each time I have walked away with renewed confidence, new friendships, and so much joy! I have also found a love for painting, although I would not consider myself an artist. Doing an acrylic paint pour is a huge stress reliever on a day when my anxiety is high and does not require any skill! I am far from perfect, but I can honestly say I think I am on the right path.