I want to write this post to hopefully share some of my experiences with self sabotage & anxiety. I published my first book “Falling Angel : Rising Phoenix” as a therapeutic release, I woke up one day and realized that my life was starting to go down a rabbit hole, I looked in the mirror and didn’t like the person that I was becoming, I started asking myself, Who am I? I believed that I was starting to lose the person that I was!
Falling into partying and over socializing and ignoring my needs of mental health! I have GAD (General Anxiety Disorder), sometimes the thoughts in my head are so overwhelming that I can’t think straight, sometimes going to work or just drinking and socializing and not sitting in my thoughts is the easier way out instead of dealing with them. With my anxiety comes an inner voice that I call my inner saboteur, he loves to make me self doubt and form these paranoid anxious ideas that people are out to get me and that I am a horrible person. Living with this monster inside of my head has lead me to fight with friends and family, substance use in the night life scene and decline in self love. I had nights where I was out till 4 am and going to work the next day on 3 hours of sleep and still feeling the alcohol I had in the morning and ignoring all my inner thoughts, I was scared to battle my inner demons.
I found myself one day writing out all my thought in poetry form to best express myself. From my writing, I found some useful tips to share with anyone that needs help. I reached out to ADAA because their mission is amazing, the fact that ADAA helps people find treatment, resources, and support is amazing. The managing anxiety page helps me learn more about dealing with my anxiety. I hope this blog post can help people manage their anxiety.
1. Its ok to not be ok !
- I believe we need to change the expectation that we must always have a smile on and be ok 24/7 , it’s ok to have sad moments and it’s ok to acknowledge that you aren’t 100% today.
2. Self Awareness & Intuition
- I believe that a lot of people especially highly sensitive people (Where are my empaths at? ) Have incredible intuition ability , we know when something is off or if we are not in the mood, I believe in owning this power! Self awareness is also key , being aware of what is going on with you is a beautiful gift to have!
3. Shut out that inner saboteur
- One of my coping mechanism of anxious self doubt thoughts, is telling that saboteur, “Be Quiet”. I talk to my therapist about this, your coping mechanism can be anything, mine is to have an inner conversation with myself.
4. Channel your anxiety into a form of expression
- I believe the arts or a hobby can help calm the brain! Personally for me writing and dancing is therapeutic. When I write in my journal or write poetry, I am so in the moment that it becomes meditative and my thoughts are finally calmer! Dancing for me is amazing because you are so focused on moving your body that your thoughts are not controlling you! There is something about movement that keeps our brains in a meditative state. Same goes for going to the gym or any psychical activity workout.
5. Self care is the best care
- I know this sounds clichè but I have learned with anxiety and being an empath that there are certain needs for self care that I must do to make sure I am set up for success.
I hope anyone reading this knows that you are not alone and mental health is a real deal! I want to break the stigma and let the world know that, IT’S OK TO NOT BE OK! We as people should be understanding of each other and I hope for the best in everyone! Hopefully these tips can help you as they have helped me through some dark and confusing times.
With Love, Stay Healthy and Peaceful
Check out my new book, “Falling Angel : Rising Phoenix”