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by Kellene Diana

KelleeDiana_0.jpgMy name is Kellene Diana and I used to struggle with anxiety and depression. Nobody understood or wanted to understand; in fact they called me names and passed judgment before they even knew what I was going through. It made me so afraid to speak up and speak out about it that it completely silenced me for years. 
 
For a very long time I was full of anxiety, depression, fear, anger, self-doubt, low self-esteem and alcohol.  Everything was hurting me emotionally, mentally and physically!

But, as scary as it was, I took a stand and put up a serious fight for my soul, my health, my spirit and everything that matters in this life! I stopped caring about what people thought and started caring more about getting better.

I got so tired of the panic attacks, the constant tears, the “what ifs,” the fears, the lack of self-confidence and the hangovers!  I knew in my heart that there was so much more for me! So, one day I made a conscious decision and I said out loud “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”! It is time to fight for the Kellene that I knew was on the inside waiting for an invitation to show her greatness. 

First, I acknowledged my struggles, and then I immediately made an appointment to see a therapist. I started journaling, reading stories of hope and triumph on the ADAA‘s website, praying, meditating, exercising and speaking life and love over myself every SINGLE day! 

Because of my commitment to my healing, nowadays when I look in the mirror, I feel a different kind of love for myself that goes far beyond my outfit, my red lipstick and my mascara! I now see my will, determination, resilience, and that I’m a fighter, a survivor, a queen, a warrior, a healer, a leader and a person who stopped using circumstances as an excuse to stay stuck!

The more I started to heal the more and more I saw my potential and what I was capable of and due to my intentional fight,  hard work and my determination to be my greatest, I am proud to say that I am now the CEO of my own company, a Best Selling Author and a Survivor of Mental Illness!

This story is to simply show you that if I can beat anxiety and depression and all the other things that I have battled that tried to take me out, so can you! 

No more excuses…no more waiting! It is time to give yourself that invitation to step into your greatness just like I did. 

Now, I'm no therapist and nor do I claim to have all the answers but one thing that I do know is that whatever dream is in your heart, whatever goal you need to achieve, with a fight, determination and a solid non-judgmental support system….you too can triumph over anxiety and depression. 

Click here to join my free Facebook Community called “I BEAT ANXIETY DEPRESSION, now what?”  It is a very engaged group of warriors who are ready to heal and share their journey and their story for ongoing healing and support! 

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Comments

Hello Kellene,

Your story is very close to mine and I pray I'll one day be the CEO of my own company and best selling author of books which inspires and aspires women to keep fighting for their souls as they battle mental illness and motherhood. Thank you for sharing and most importantly Thank you for fighting.

Hello Rhonda,

Thank you so much for reading my story. Keep praying and believing for yourself. You deserve the desires of your heart. Keep speaking that over your life and believe and keep Fighting no matter what! :-) I hope to see you in our group.

Sonita Douglas

September 21, 2018

I want to Thank you for sharing your story.. I can truly understand. Please continue to be a Change Agent.

CONGRATULATIONS on your healing!
And THANK YOU for sharing. You are so inspiring - I feel hopeful after reading your story.
Peace, Love, Health, Happiness and Success!

That was a very interesting thing to hear today. I did appreciate you story of triumph and hope that I would realise my own dreams and beat every aspect of negative thoughts in my life.

I’m happy for you. But in my case, no matter how determined I am, depression still haunts me. I don’t know, I don’t drink very much, maybe a glass of wine here and there...and I’ve said “enough is enough!” to myself in the mirror so much—also because of the way I affect others—that I sound like a broken record. I believe and know that I’m strong and capable, and that’s part of why I’m depressed. Feels like punching rubber, sometimes. I know I shouldn’t cry so much, or be so “oversensitive” because I do have a great life and family and friends. My issue is that despite this I’m sad. It’s so frustrating.
Is there really a cure? Will I be able to look back one day and say “I used to be depressed,” or is it going to be a life-long struggle? Each time I think I’m up, I go down.
I am still fighting the good fight every day. Not ashamed of loving and continuously hoping that more people could under and accept this unfortunate and debilitating affliction, and that all of us can share our stories in order to help each other out in order to make a better world for ourselves and those who love us.
Thanks for sharing.

I am soo glad that your comment to speak about this illness has given me the courage to speak about it. I have suffered so badly recently and beaten it a couple of times but oh my is it crippling. But i am not keeping it a secret anymore.

This is exactly how i feel now and the worse part is that i was never this way! Yes there are a lot of challenges right now but ive dealt with far worse in the past and was able to overcome it and yet these days the sadness and anxiety is just so overwhelming...i feel like im on auto-pilot most of the time if not all of the time and im always feeling so tired and i would suddenly just cry sometimes...i really really dont like this feeling...

I clearly understand your challenges. I too struggle with anxiety and depression, but I made a conscience decision to not let my mental illness win. I went to see a therapist and enrolled myself in group sessions to discuss my mental state. Please don't be afraid to reach out for help. I felt better by allow myself to address my issues, especially with someone who was neutral and noncondescending. Their are a lot of Mental Health resources out there, take advantage of them and Please feel better.. Your Friend Twana

Wow...thanks for sharing all you did. Congratulations and best of luck to you always!

Thank you for sharing your story and for your honesty. It's helpful to read success stories. Depression and anxiety are tough opponents!

Thank you for your story you literally helped me off my bed and gave me the motivation to keep pushing until I get through

Thank you so much for having the confidence to write this. Its encouraging read of an example where anxiety and depression is not a death sentence as some people too often convince themselves when they encounter similar thoughts or feelings.

Thank you for your strength

I have read your story and your fight relates to my experience. I am still struggling against overcoming anxiety, panic attacks and depression. Your story proved to me that I can win this battle. As you said, I too am a fighter, a survivor, a healer and a warrior. If you can, I can. You are inspiring. Thank you.

I am suffering from depression so bad I can't get out of bed. I live by myself and am always scared I don't know about you but I always feel that there is something wrong with me, I have been to the ER many times and they keep sending me home. This is so hard to kick I am missing out on everything. I have a psychiastrist & a counselor, my problem is getting myself in the shower to get to my appointments is making it difficult. This may so0und weird but one of my problems is when I shower I feel like my hair gets uglier and uglier, I never felt like this before and it is ruining my life. If you have any thing you can help me with please email me cdadkd@msn.com, I would really appreciate it. I am on all kinds of depression meds and I am wondering if that is half of my problem. Please help!!!

Cheryl, wow! You poor woman that sucks but do not give up hope. I first would recheck all your meds and get that figured out because meds are a bandaid to a problem. Men and women that come back from the army are feed medication like candy to cope with PSD and it's like zombies walking around and can stop you from being motivated for a second because its a mask on your brain. They feel horrible inside so they cant get out of the house. Meds are meant to pick you up a bit but that's it!!!or you will just have to keep upping your dose or change your meds 100 times to feel ok until the next appointment. Do you have good days? If you do have even 1 hour of hope then write down what you need to do. Yes you need to eat right, exercise, meditation, yoga, get a breathing app and take vitamins also CBD can works BUT we all know this! But having that one second of hope is the only way you will be able to do these things. VOLUNTEER your time to help others, even if it's for 30 minutes, seeing Ppl less fortunate than you will make you think. These are real people dealing with the real world just like you. Do not watch t.v. and stay off your phone as much as possible, when watching t.v or being on our phones and watching these beautiful and rich people that are so inlove and these celebrities make statements as to be yourself, we constantly compare ourselves and you will not win. Its brainwashing a bit, be yourself well you know what f off I cant be myself I am depressed you rich b****. If you do watch a movie watch something happy and real. I like to watch Alaskan Frontier you know why because those people are trying to survive, their living off the land, they don't have TVs they don't have any communication and you know what they don't have anxiety and depression because their minds are occupied and focused. Take it day by day and dont give up! Depression is a disease in your brain

Hi Cheryl. I know this feeling all too well. I started seeing my therapist and she began a treatment called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) which has proven, so far, to help me and my brain heal very old wounds that keep informing my decisions and thought processes in real time. Look this therapy up! It's like magic. You do a little work to find what triggers are causing these reactions, then you do the work with your therapist to Desensitize & Reprocess your reactions to certain specific triggers. It sounds tiring, but you're running your brain a million miles a minute already, beating yourself up and trying to come out on top, to no avail. This is a little more emotional work, feeling as miserable as you do most days but with a purpose and plan to heal and move on from these old ways of thinking. I figured, why not just lean into it, and some medication (temporarily) to heal these things once and for all and be done with the negativity. It doesn't have to consume you, you just have some ironing to do. Best of luck! Just keep going! You'll start to see the light when you can no longer stand the darkness.

I found myself googling, “how am I happy after being depressed?” Then, I found your article and I suddenly feel far less lonely. I have been struggling with anxiety, depression, and alcoholism for a long time and I am finally starting to let go of the downtrodden habits. I have always felt like the alcohol abuse was a response to my mental illness, but I would like to ask you what your relation with alcohol was and how do you cope now?

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