In 2014, my life was completely turned upside down. Everything I had known before was never to be again. I had been diagnosed with Lyme disease and began treatment immediately. During treatment, my entire life was changed. I had to move out unexpectedly, my relationships with those around me were deteriorating rapidly, and death surrounded me as I grieved loved ones. I felt as if my life was over and I had nothing to fight for. I didn’t know who I was or why I was supposed to be alive. I was tested in emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical strength daily.
While on Lyme treatment, I was diagnosed with other autoimmune diseases at the same time. It seemed as if every doctor appointment I was given another piece to the puzzle of my broken new life. This was the first time in my life where I felt worthless. Where I prayed for my life to be taken away because I had believed that I wasn’t good enough to be gifted a life. I became my illness. I became my fear. I became my anxiety. I became a shell of every dark and negative thought and feeling that I had experienced. I felt more lost than I ever had felt in my life. I had lost hope. I was so brutally sick from Lyme disease and being on treatment, that I forgot who I was, and who God is. I am a woman of faith, and without faith, I wouldn’t be here today. I wouldn’t have overcome my depression and been completely healed from Lyme. I owe my healing to remaining strong in my faith and pursuing the many resources and tools and people that were placed in my pathway during the last 5 years.
One day I broke down and completely surrendered everything that was crippling me and chaining me back from becoming the woman I was created to become. As soon as I surrendered and just put my faith and trust and hope in the goodness and love of God, my life began to change. Surrendering oneself to God does not mean doing nothing and just waiting for a miracle. It means not leaning on your own understanding by losing the hopelessness mindset, losing the victim mindset, and stepping forth into action by fighting for your purpose in this life. Actions I took to overcome depression and renew my mind, body, and spirit, included finding a therapist that could help me recognize my toxic thought patterns, and encourage me that growth stems from changes in this life. Reading articles from various websites, including ADAA. Listening to podcasts, sermons, and reading books. Volunteering my time to helping others. Cultivating a community of good genuine people. Spending quality time with loved ones and working on repairing any damaged relationships due to my depression. Full time treatment for my diseases. And diving deeper into my faith, by praying more for others and for myself.
I learned what it truly means to be human and experience the lows and the highs. I learned depression can be overcome, if you commit to never giving up on yourself and your purpose. I learned that depression are lies that consume you and by recognizing this, you gain the power and authority back to break the chains of depression over your life. I now live a life with a faith-based mindset, rather than a fear-based mindset. And because of every step I took, I was healed after 4 years of being on treatment cycles for Lyme disease. I was given the miracle of life, and a second chance to help other people through my blog, Hearts in Bloom, to learn to overcome their obstacles and to never feel alone in doing so. By becoming a Medical Assistant and helping patients with their healing journeys. By studying to become a doctor myself, so that one day I can save a life from illness induced depression. Life is what we make of it. We have the choice to fall victim to the dark side of life or become a warrior and become victorious.