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Growing up in Japan with a workaholic surgeon father and an often-absent socialite mother, I was raised by a revolving cast of caregivers who worked at my father's hospital. An unstable home environment and lack of a consistent caregiver created in me a melancholic, anxious child prone to insomnia.

I became successful as an electrician but would self sooth with alcohol. Once I gave that up, the emotions had to go somewhere but where?

My panic attacks started getting bad and started to occur more regularly. Almost once a day, which left me more scared.

Early in 2020 I experienced my first panic attack at the age of 34. I had entered into psychotherapy a few months earlier and things seemed to be getting better.