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My music persona “Goldyngambit” has become my brand to be an advocate of mental health awareness. And had I not battled this illness, I wouldn’t have been able to create my art.

After a while, my life began to take on meaning. I let myself feel. I unearthed pain, raw emotions, and intense feelings. These are not minor feats, especially for anyone suffering from depression or anxiety.

Most would agree that treating invasive cancer when it is still just the size of a mustard seed has a much better prognosis than waiting and treating it when it metastasizes into a larger, less curable disease. My cancer experience makes me more resolute about treating anxiety early. 

Growing up in Japan with a workaholic surgeon father and an often-absent socialite mother, I was raised by a revolving cast of caregivers who worked at my father's hospital. An unstable home environment and lack of a consistent caregiver created in me a melancholic, anxious child prone to insomnia.

I work as a freelance illustrator. It is very difficult for me to fit into a team and I prefer to work from home and communicate only with close friends. I often feel lonely, sad and anxious, but drawing helps me. I put my feelings on paper. 

I became successful as an electrician but would self sooth with alcohol. Once I gave that up, the emotions had to go somewhere but where?

Remember that healing takes time, but it is possible. With the right tools and support, you can overcome your struggles and live a happy and fulfilling life.

I’ve learned that small momentum-based habits that I incorporate into my daily routine – and it’s a constant work in progress – like exercise, eating cleaner, meditating, limiting screen time, and journaling help keep my physical and mental health in check.

My panic attacks started getting bad and started to occur more regularly. Almost once a day, which left me more scared.

After viewing my art and story, I want others to understand that we are not alone in this and should not be embarrassed of our struggles. Instead, acknowledge them and work hard to triumph over them.

Early in 2020 I experienced my first panic attack at the age of 34. I had entered into psychotherapy a few months earlier and things seemed to be getting better.

I wasn’t normal, but somehow, to the world and medical spreadsheets I was, “just an average kid with anxiety” and not a kid who desperately needed help.