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For me, my experiences with mental illness guided me on a path of wanting to be physically and psychologically well and healthy, and also being grateful for and appreciating the beauty of life.

I was diagnosed early with my first mental health disorder – ADHD – at the age of 12. Six years later I received a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. And at 34, OCD. This was the most challenging, both in terms of the symptoms and the treatment.

My music persona “Goldyngambit” has become my brand to be an advocate of mental health awareness. And had I not battled this illness, I wouldn’t have been able to create my art.

Getting sick was both sudden and gradual. The timeline of my mental health disorder, or rather disorders because I endured several, was so erratic, waxing and waning, often corresponding to a momentous event in my life or the birth of one of my children or the death of a loved one.

My father and I wrote IT SOUNDED BETTER IN MY HEAD — a fictional account of my mental health journey and my personal growth through music.  In a country, where it seems the majority of our youth are silently struggling with mental health, I think our story will resonate for a wide population as we all suffer together.

Why are we, as a nation, experiencing such catastrophic and alarmingly high rates of anxiety and mental health concerns among our youth?  

This song is dedicated and directed to those who suffer from the condition commonly known as anxiety. As someone suffering from anxiety, I have found art as my outlet to express my feelings and combat my condition. 

In football, I play safety. It’s a position I have taken most of my professional life but also in my journey with mental health advocacy and calling for more awareness and equity, particularly in sports.

I woke up that day in early September feeling okay at first but around 8am, I became very depressed for no reason I could say exactly. I told my mother (grandmother) that I was going to go for a walk, but I had another plan. There is a 15–20-foot lighthouse by a lake near where I live. It is a truly beautiful place but, on this day, it wasn't so beautiful. 

Overall, the state of mental health in the AAPI community is dire. There is still much that needs to be improved, both in terms of how we approach and how we care for those with mental illness in our Asian American/Pacific Islander communities.

16-year-old Adnan Alkhalil created and unincorporated nonprofit association/foundation called Free The Bird which is run by youth for youth in an effort to break free of dysphoria.

It is my sincere hope that this new collection of songs brings as much comfort and healing to others who live with anxiety and depression, as writing them has brought to me.