CARE

 For many years music helped me to feel less alone going through something I hadn’t come to understand about myself until recently. I’m turning 30 this year and I have dealt with depression for a long time. My darkest day came when I was 14 and found out my dad had suddenly passed away. The aftermath of that trauma included everything from being so down I couldn’t see anything beyond the hold his loss had on me to even switching schools after being bullied by the very friends I thought I could count on during the hardest time of my life.  

I started playing guitar when I was 8. I then spent most of my teens and early 20’s playing in rock bands with my friends until I decided to go solo and break into pop music in 2018. While playing and listening to music have always been great supports for me, I had also been going to therapy.  

For a good 10 years my therapy sessions with my carousel of therapists were a very go-through-the-motions experience. My therapeutic journey was frustrating to the point that I stopped going as I didn’t believe therapy could ever help fix what was wrong with me. That was until a day I had back in early 2022 that was quite possibly the lowest I had ever felt. I was stuck in the feeling not wanting to die but not wanting to be alive either. I knew I had to get help from the right therapist and seriously buy into a program of caring about myself. This recent journey inspired the most important song I have ever written. 

My new song CARE describes that fork in the road we all come across in our lives where we have two paths to choose walking down. For me those paths were the path of Self Care and the path of Self Destruction: 

“And I could chase a bitter ending, or I could take my time. And I could leave straight for an exit or heal this mind of mine.” 

The song dives into that day I had mentally caved in on myself despite having to go through a day to day like any other. In the music video you’ll see me go through an average day while speaking openly to the camera about what I am feeling on the inside until I break.  

CARE is just the first chapter of this personal mental health journey that I will continue to tell as time goes on. While I’ve never been shy about being open with how I feel, this is no doubt the most constructive approach I have ever had to the subject. By teaming up with ADAA I want to reaffirm my commitment and help be part of the cultural change on mental health. 

The song and video will be out Friday August 4th

-Brandon (AESTHETIC) @iamaesthetic93

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