Rise Up Riseman

09.07.2024

Rise Up Riseman

by Maxwell Riseman

“Am I choking... Am I choking... Am I CHOKING!?”

The words echoed in my mind, spilling out to my peers as I rushed to the nurse in second grade, convinced I was in life-threatening danger. But the truth was, I wasn’t choking at all. I just didn’t know it then. At that time in my life, I couldn’t see the larger issues at play—my anxiety and OCD were controlling every thought, every action, every breath.

My experiences started early. I’d pull out my hair in desperate attempts to calm the inner storm. I became obsessively afraid of bees—yes, bees—so much so that I had my cousin simulate bee stings for me, thinking that if I could just conquer that fear, I’d be okay. But it was never really about the bees. It was about something far deeper.

The challenges only intensified. Sleepless nights and tears became my norm, especially before events that most kids would barely think twice about. I remember two weeks of sheer panic leading up to a 20-second memory speech at my elementary school graduation. Yet, when it came time to perform, I was fine, just as always.

Then came seventh grade, which brought the toughest challenge yet—making the middle school basketball team. Every moment of that season was a struggle. No one had any idea what was really happening inside me. To them, I was just a little eccentric, nothing more. They didn’t realize how much it took out of me to show up to every practice and game. The worst moments were at home and at school beforehand. I would shake in class and couldn’t pay attention to anything around me.

People assumed my anxiety was just the usual nerves everyone experiences. Maybe they thought I was just being soft. But this was different—it was a relentless, suffocating force that made me feel like I was constantly on the brink of losing control. I felt disappointed in myself, convinced I was letting my family down. But over time, I’ve come to understand that what I was dealing with wasn’t just nerves. And as brutal as it was, it made me tougher, more resilient, more empathetic, and also gentler—shaping me into the person I am today.

Everyone experiences anxiety and stress, but there are levels to it. Only those who’ve been through the deepest trenches of it can truly understand. I saw psychologists and tried various therapies, but the real turning point came when I worked with someone who genuinely understood what I was going through. Psychological concepts are easy to explain on paper, but they’re a whole different beast in real life. The best therapists, in my opinion, are those who’ve lived through the experiences. When I connected with someone who had their own story of struggle (in regards to anxiety), it was like finding a lifeline. It gave me a new perspective—on the world, on myself, and on the intricate ways mental health weaves through everything we do.

There is so much more to mental health treatment than solely medication and therapy. These treatments help, but it’s also about mindfulness, meditation, finding a sense of purpose, exercising, surrounding yourself with good people, cutting out negativity, practicing gratitude, self-awareness, journaling, proper nutrition, cold plunges, eliminating phone usage before bed, morning sunlight—EVERYTHING truly matters.

I now try to be mindful of every aspect of my life because I know how deeply it impacts my mental health. And now? My mental health isn’t just okay—it’s good. I’ve learned to turn my deepest fears into my biggest ambitions. That crippling anxiety I used to feel about public speaking back in fifth grade? Now, I thrive on stage. I love to sing, perform, and shine in the spotlight. And basketball? I still love playing and hit the court whenever I can. My anxiety likely also made me very passionate about wanting to be an entrepreneur because it’s the ultimate “anxiety” career where you never really know if you’re doing it right, never know if it’s going to work, but you just take it day by day and trust that in the end, it’s really all going to be okay.

My experiences have given me a unique perspective, at least from my point of view. I feel they’ve helped me become more perceptive of people, allowing me to sense who’s genuine and who might be putting on a facade. I try to understand who’s truly in control and who’s struggling. While I strive to be kind, I’ve noticed that kindness can oftentimes be misinterpreted as weakness, a lack of intelligence, or an absence of awareness, as if those who are kind don’t grasp the complexities of the world and are somehow ignorant.

This is why I believe that all truly strong people are kind. Strong people lift others up when they are down. They recognize their position in this world and use it for good, never to take advantage of or manipulate others for self-interest. Anxiety and OCD have been a journey, and they’ve taught me more about life than I ever could have imagined. I’m honestly grateful for my past experiences because they’ve put me in a position to inspire others.

I believe mental health is a challenge many people face, often making them feel misunderstood or isolated. By sharing my story with ADAA, I hope to show others that they are not alone and that they are more than valuable just as they are. It’s important to recognize that struggling with mental health doesn’t negate one’s strength; rather, working to improve your mental well-being is a sign of resilience. I aim to challenge the current misconceptions about mental health and promote a more supportive perspective.

That’s why I started my Instagram channel, @RiseUpRiseman. It’s dedicated to promoting positivity, building community, and improving mental health. This is something I’m deeply passionate about and committed to. If you’re reading this, I invite you to drop a follow and join me on this journey—let’s rise up together!

What I’ve learned is that you can turn your challenges into your greatest strengths. I’ve done it, will continue to do it, and now I’m here to help others do the same. If you’re reading this and feeling overlooked or hurt, if you feel like your voice isn’t heard or that no one cares, know that I see you, and it will be okay. In fact, something magical is coming your way, my friend.