Overcoming Worry About Money: Managing the Afterburn of Holiday Spending, Consumerism, and the Money Crunch of Inflation

Karen Cassiday, PhD, ACT

Member Since 2004

Karen Cassiday, PhD, ADAA Past President's areas of interest are anxiety disorders in children and teens, social anxiety disorder, treatment-refractory OCD, and working with children and teens who suffer from both developmental concerns and anxiety disorders. Her research has focused on information processing in posttraumatic stress disorder and cognitive-behavioral treatment of anxiety disorders in children, teens, and adults.

Dr. Karen Cassiday is a lively, sought-after speaker and commentator on national media such as Nightline, The Today Show, Animal Planet, The Joy Behar Show, Huffington Post, public radio and many more. She is a TEDx speaker who shared her personal experience as a mother overcoming her own anxious perfectionism in the middle of Walt Disney World! She is the host of the Moms Without Worry radio show. She served as the President of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America and is the founder of the Anxiety Treatment Center of Greater Chicago, the longest-running clinic to first use modern exposure-based treatment for anxiety disorders in the Chicago region. She won the Anxiety and Depression Association of America’s prestigious Clinician of Distinction Award and is a Clinical Fellow. She is also a Diplomate and Founding Fellow of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy, served as Chair of the Scientific Advisory Board of the Chicago OCD Foundation/Beyond OCD, and has been listed on numerous Who’s Who lists. She has published numerous scientific articles and articles on parenting and managing anxiety. Dr. Cassiday is dedicated to helping mothers overcome the cultural pressure to be perfect and to raise perfect kids. She enjoys using her expertise from over thirty years in the field to help families overcome the dilemmas of parenting in a high-stress digital world. Her goal is to help all mothers embrace the messy hilarity of parenting with unshakable self-confidence so they can raise kids who thrive!

Dr. Cassiday and ADAA

"My graduate school advisor, Rich McNally, suggested ADAA would be a great place to join as a student so I could present my research and network with other like-minded people who were really interested in researching and treating anxiety disorders.”

“ADAA has given me many things I needed at different stages of my career that were either unavailable or hard to find. Early in my career, I was often the only professional who knew about evidence-based therapies for anxiety and I needed a place to be with my own kind without having to explain myself and combat skepticism. Then I needed inspiration from the ideas of scientists and other clinicians so I could improve my clinical skills. ADAA also gave me a multi-disciplinary group that mirrored my daily work life and that felt great. I have really enjoyed the opportunity to share my knowledge by giving presentation. Lastly, ADAA has given me the opportunity to serve humankind in a bigger way by sharing my leadership skills on committees, the Board and as president.”

“I have depended on my ADAA colleagues throughout my career to give me inspiration, encouragement and mentoring for my clinical dilemmas and business dilemmas. The friendly non-competitive atmosphere has made it easy to call up anyone to get their advice. I don't believe that my patients and staff would have fared as well as they have had I not been very involved with ADAA."

January 18, 2023

Overcoming Worry About Money: Managing the Afterburn of Holiday Spending, Consumerism, and the Money Crunch of Inflation

One of the most taboo topics in our culture is talking about how much money we have and how we spend our money. If you are like most people, it is easier to tell your friends or therapist about your sexual experiences than to talk about your attitudes about money and spending habits. Why? Because many cultures glorify having lots of money and spending lots of money as the pinnacle of achievement. Pressure from media and culture equates shopping with entertainment and giving the perfect (expensive) gift, wedding or party with the quality and generosity of your love. In short, it takes great thought and effort to mindfully manage your money, so you avoid the temptation to overspend. In the United States, the average credit card debt is $22 thousand dollars, and the average home or apartment has over 300,000 thousand items! So, if you are worried about paying the holiday bills or which groceries to buy when you see the effects of inflation, you are not alone.

Consumerism is the belief “that the consumption of goods and services purchased in the market is always a desirable goal, and that a person's well-being and happiness depend fundamentally on obtaining consumer goods and material possessions” (Investopedia.com). The science of mental wellness has shown that consumerism, or materialism, is bad for mental health because it promotes a competitive mindset that values things over people. It misdirects you away from mindful living that prioritizes relationships. It makes you spend more than you should on gifts because you accidentally equate the perfect gift with fulfilling the consumer’s dream of having and giving all the right things. It makes you believe you and those you love will feel better and function better if you possess all the right stuff. It makes it inevitable you will overspend and join the ranks of those who worry about money.

Likewise, consumerism makes it more difficult to save money and spend within your means. Instead of asking, “What is the best way to spend what I have?” it pushes you to think, “What should I have?” It limits your creativity for finding ways to demonstrate love, to pursue hobbies or to find ways to live within your means. For example, we know that most people wear repeatedly wear 5-10 favorite pieces of clothing. So, having more than this means you are likely overspending, and creating a burden of worry for not getting your money’s worth out of what you own. Is it true you need new clothing each season? a special device for making perfectly shaped pancakes? Holiday themed bedsheets?

Consumerism convinces you that you are not good enough when you cannot purchase the things you want. Consumerism might even make you feel entitled and therefore envious of those who spend more and have more. No wonder worry about money and spending beyond your means is the most frequent cause of couples’ conflict.

The antidote is to become aware of your attitudes about money and spending and then to do the hard work of living within your means according to your values. Money should be a tool to address your basic needs and to express your values. To do this, you need to get clear about what matters most and then use your money accordingly. Here are questions to help you spend mindfully and according to your values.

1. What does my spending the past three months say about what matters most to me?

2. What does my worry about money say about my values? Does it express a desire for security? Financial independence? Power? Being loved?

3. If I have credit card debt that I cannot pay off in full each month, how much happiness do the things I purchased give me now? Do I regret any of my purchases?

4. Have I calculated the real cost of things I purchase on credit that I cannot pay off each month? Am I willing to pay that much for this item (real cost equals the interest you pay each month added to the purchase price)

5. Do I want to control how I spend my money, or do I want the culture of consumerism to control how I spend my money?

6. Am I willing to invest in my mental health by learning financial self-management skills, such as creating and following a monthly budget or learning how to pay off and avoid credit card debt?

Resources to consider:

https://care4yourfuture.rg/curriculum?gclid=CjwKCAiAzp6eBhByEiwA_gGq5D4kSdwASiQRLIeGGuJ_9YB58cJRr3JwaZsR1Te-05pKmUQsqFNORBoCNVsQAvD_BwE Free English and Spanish financial literacy materials

https://www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/educator-tools/adult-financial-education/tools-and-resources/ free information about understanding and managing various types of debt, creating budgets and getting assistance with managing debt and predatory lenders

https://debtorsanonymous.org/ 12-step program to overcome overspending, debt and victimization by consumerism