Believe in yourself, you CAN get out of dark world of depression/anxiety
I had done various kinds of blood tests but mostly everything was coming normal except Vitamin D. I took OTC Vitamin D but provided no relief and it worsened my health. I then started seeing a therapist for CBT but still had no relief in physical symptoms. I then started seeing a psychiatrist and was put on antidepressants. A couple of antidepressants didn’t work and, on the contrary, made me feel worse. I started having body pains all over my body, had low libido, no motivation to do any work, and difficulty getting up and going to work. I was also given anti-seizure meds, pain reliever meds, nerve damage meds, and so many other meds but nothing worked.
I was the only bread earner in my family and I had to feed my wife and child. Despite all these difficulties, I still went to work every day to feed my family. At my workplace people didn’t care much about me. Unfortunately, my parents, my wife, my brother and his wife provided absolutely no help to me. They did not understand my condition and what mental health does to the body and mind. I had even been mocked by my own parents a couple of times, saying that I had become a negative person and that they would provide no help in raising my children. I was against the whole world and no one was with me.
Instead, my parents continued supporting my brother’s family and everyone in my family pretty much broke relations with me. My in-laws live nearby and instead of providing help and understanding the situation, they did little as well. Despite me begging my wife to get some help from her parents as they were nearby and in good health, she did not reach out to them because she wanted her parents to enjoy their life instead and not bothered about our situation. My family failed to understand that if I died, who would take care of others in the family and my children?
Despite seeing so many doctors, nothing concrete was coming out in the medical diagnosis except that I also have IBS and there is no medicine to help it. I have always been good my entire life, why did all these sufferings happen in my life? I don’t have an answer to this question, and none of us ever will find an answer to that question.
However, in this whole experience, I became a spiritual person. I started praying to God. I participated in a couple of webinars offered by ADAA. In therapy, I often heard that family and friends are the best resources to reach out first. But what happens when your own family and friends ditch you? It creates even more shock to the patient and worsens the situation. I learned that people move on as a situation changes but only I can help myself.
Slowly and steadily, I crafted a strategy to fight the situation. I believed that all these negativities around me can be overcome by positivity and focusing on the good things. I read motivational books, change how I perceive things, accept the bad days but don’t let it take over me but instead I learn to swim out of it, do my prayers, etc. The bad days are not over yet, but I am a more capable person than before to tackle the challenges.
Today I would like to shout out to those strong people out there who struggle every day in their life and no one is with them, not even their family and friends stay with them unfortunately. Stay strong, believe in yourself, and believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Good days will come!!
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