No parent has adequate words to explain the destruction that nature causes.  When our children ask us the big questions, such as “Why?” or “What are we going to do?” after a flood, earthquake or hurricane has destroyed their home, community or disrupted daily life, adults can get stuck thinking that they must provide an explanation for the unexplainable.  What helps is to realize that what your child is really asking for is comfort and hope in a difficult time. They need you to demonstrate how to cope with loss and uncertainty.  They need you to show them  coping means growing as you grieve and learning on the go.  This is something  you can provide, even when you are personally devastated by the same situation your child is experiencing.

1. Reassure your children that you love them and that even though you may not know how your family will recover your home, property or daily schedule, that you most certainly will find a way to recover.
2. Acknowledge your sadness, dismay, frustration and grief and make it clear they are not the cause, “I am sorry I am so grumpy.  It’s not you.  I just feel sad and worried about finding a new place to live and it makes it hard to have fun with your game.”
3. Avoid the urge to make yourself or your kids find happiness.  Instead focus upon being able to do the things that matter even when it is very hard.  Make it your family motto, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going!”  People who accept distress and refocus upon doing valued and impactful activities find meaning and purpose that goes much deeper than momentary happiness.
4. Reframe the situation as an adventure, a challenge to see how you can make do with less, live like the pioneers and meet the daily challenges of living.  Children who learn that stressors are opportunities develop resilience.  Your children have the chance to learn that life can still be rich and good without power, without possessions, and that love, relationships and survival matter more than things and convenience.
5. Read adventure stories to your kids about the pioneer children, about kids who go on epic journeys or get lost in space, and discuss how their situation is similar to yours.
6. Make comparisons of your life with people who live in dire situations and still find a way to thrive, get an education, have friendships and enjoy life.
7. Emphasize gratitude for what you do have, each other, your lives, your physical safety.  Recount the blessings of the day at bedtime or dinner time.  Be sure to tell them the things that you are grateful for too so you can be a good role model.  This helps them focus upon the blessings that each day offers rather than the deprivations.  If you and your family enjoy writing or drawing, start a family gratitude journal in which you record your daily blessings.
8. Normalize the situation.  Let your children know that what they feel is typical for anyone who shares their experience.  Let them talk about their feelings and talk to others about their feelings without trying to make them feel better or by trying to stop their tears or sadness.  Grief, anger and fear is a normal response to a natural disaster.
9. Learn to ask and say, “Why not me? Why not our family and friends?”  Discuss how no one is so special they can avoid the effects of severe weather. 
10. Be resourceful and ask for help.  Seek out the help of other survivors, of support professionals and of mental health professionals when you feel like you or your children need additional support.  You will be glad you did.