So OCD

So OCD

by Ella Moroz

I’m so OCD


They’re a neat freak
They don’t like germs
They like to be organized and keep things clean
They throw out the term as if it’s an “everyone has a little bit of it in them” type of phrase

They don’t know OCD

I’m so OCD

I know what it feels like to consistently have to hide compulsions I face
I know what it means to have an irrational hatred of the number 5
I know what it feels like to have to count nearly every single thing I do, making sure I avoid odd numbers
I know what it feels like to take forever to get into bed at night because the light switch has to be turned off just the right way. If it doesn’t feel right, do it again. Now it finally feels right, but I touched it an odd number of times so I have to keep going
I know what it feels like to have irrational thoughts of somehow hurting someone every time I drive my car
I know what it feels like to be embarrassed of having compulsions
I know what it feels like to know that the thoughts and compulsions I have are completely irrational, yet I can’t ignore them
I know what it means to have frequent intrusive thoughts
I know what it feels like to have a mental illness that is consistently stigmatized

I’m so OCD

 

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